Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
