there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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