i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
