Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
