i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
