Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
