I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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