Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
