im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize