dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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