I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize