I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
