I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
