Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
