were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
