I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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