Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
