So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
