I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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