He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
