C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
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so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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