Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
