Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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