ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
