It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
