he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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