looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
