I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
