Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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