First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
