I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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