you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
