I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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