I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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