I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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