Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
