And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
