if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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