omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
