God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
