just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
