I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
