when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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