sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
