I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
