just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize