She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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