I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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