jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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