It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
