Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So apparently I’m into choking now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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