we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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