You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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