I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
