She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
