let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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