Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
