so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Randomize
