Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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